A Loving Burden
by MadeWithSimpleBliss
Summary: Summary inside. AU. Give it a shot.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story is definitely AU. I will be using cases from the show due to the fact that I'm not a doctor and have no idea what half the words mean. I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the script that was written for it. This is a Meredith/Derek story.**

 **Meredith is new to town, deciding to move after her sister's death. Meredith is well known in the medical world, and not just because of her last name. Chief Bailey has brought her on board with the staff as the new Head of General. Her best friend, Christina Yang, from her old home, Manhattan, New York, will always be a phone call away. While here, she'll meet the infamous neurosurgeon, Dr. Derek Shepherd. Meet new friends, such as, Alex, Izzie and George. (Yes! Izzie and George are in this story.)**

* * *

 _Fresh starts. Thanks to the calendar, thy happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season, is a new year. Bringing in the great tradition of New Year resolutions. Put your past behind you, and start over. It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. A chance to put the problems of last year to bed._

 _Who gets to determine when the old ends, and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event. Big or small. Something that changes is. Ideally, it gives us hope._

 _A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning._

 _But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to._

* * *

The small toddler ran as fast as he could into his mother's room. Tears streaked his face, and as lightning filled the room with light, his mom could see the puffiness around his red eyes. He crawled into her open arms, calming down as soon as he was in her tight embrace. His mother kissed his head softly, glancing at the clock and sighing softly. Within a few minutes, soft even breaths came from the young boy and the mother smiled. She snuck out of the bed slowly and made her way to her bathroom. Grabbing a towel before hopping into the shower.

Meredith Grey was a little nervous to be back in Seattle. She had started her internship here but had moved with her best friend to the big apple when they both received amazing offers. Somewhere in there she had met a man. Being young and foolish, it became a casual fling. The man got a job offer and ended up moving to Seattle. Meredith a month later found out she was pregnant and after telling the man, he stayed. Shortly after having a beautiful baby boy, the new father went between Seattle and New York.

Lucas Sloan was small for his age. At four years old he was quite smart and could easily pronounce some of the easier medical terms he had learned from his parents. He looked like his father, Mark Sloan, but had inherited his mother's petite size. He felt safe in his mother's bed. Her room was dark and sound proof, cancelling out any thunder or lightning. Lucas woke up at the sound of the shower turning off. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, sighing loudly as he did. Meredith walked in and smiled at him, walking to her dresser and grabbing out a long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. She walked over to the bed and picked up Lucas.

"Mommy has to go into her new job today to sign papers. Would you like to come with?" Meredith had asked this while walking downstairs, making her way into the kitchen. She smiled when he nodded his answer and poured him a bowl of cereal.

Meredith watched him eat, silently losing control in her mind. She would be going to the hospital where she hadn't been since a year ago when Mark had been hospitalized. The emotional turmoil of losing her half sister, Lexie, that mark had met while working and introduced to Meredith, still stayed with her most days. Lucas' half sister, Sofia, and Meredith's good friend, Callie, were here so that was at least a plus. A part of her was excited to meet the friends Mark had made in his short time here.

Lucas dropped his spoon into the now empty cereal bowl, pulling her out from her thoughts, making her look at him. He smiled innocently and she couldn't help smiling back. Meredith grabbed his bowl and put it in the sink, telling Lucas to go put clothes on and then his shoes. He obliged to his mother's request and ran off to go pick an outfit. Meredith put a strand of her somewhat short hair behind her ear and made sure she was wearing her necklace. She went to the front entrance's closet and grabbed her shoes. As she found her purse, the stairs creaked warning her Lucas was approaching. She met him at the door and grabbed his hand, smiling at him as they walked to the car.

* * *

The hospital was everything she remembered. She sighed quietly and got Luke out of the car. She placed him on her hip and walked into the building, heading straight to Miranda Bailey's office. She talked with Lucas about random things in the elevator, smiling at some of her son's remarks.

"Is this where daddy worked?" Meredith nodded her answer, swallowing softly and looking to the digital screen to see what floor they were on. The doors dinged open and Meredith smiled at the doctors that were waiting as she exited. She made her was to the Chief's office, avoiding the confused looks she was getting as she walked in her street clothes through groups of doctors in scrubs with a child on her hip. She made it Miranda's office, knocking on the door before getting invited in. She smiled as she saw Dr. Bailey.

"Meredith Grey, what a pleasure it is to officially meet you."

"As to you." Meredith shook her hand before sitting in the seat that Miranda had gestured her to sit in.

"Now, this must be Lucas?" Meredith nodded as he son ate up the attention, smiling at Miranda.

"Hello," he spoke softly but clearly. Dr. Bailey smiled and sat in her seat, grabbing a folder off her extremely organized desk. She slid the file towards Meredith and opened it up, smiling before she started to explain things.

* * *

Out on the bridge, a group of doctors watched through the windows of the Chief's office at the new doctor. Alex, stood behind Bambi -also known as George- who stood behind Izzie.

"Who is she?"

"What's her specialty?"

"She's kinda hot." The two doctors turned to look at Alex. "What? It's true. Hey, look! She's coming out of the office." They watched Meredith stand and shake Miranda's hand once more, and watched her shift the young boy onto her hip. "She has a kid. Must be married." Alex got hit this time by the doctors. New voices travelled down the hall as Dr. Bailey and Meredith exited, talking. Meredith was laughing at something the Chief had said, while Lucas played with a piece of Meredith's hair. The trip made their way to the group of attendings and stopped.

"Dr. Grey, these are some of your fellow surgeons." Meredith smiled as Miranda spoke before turning to address the three doctors herself, listening carefully as they introduced themselves and shook their hands.

"Dr. Isobel Stevens, cardiothoracic attending."

"Dr. George O'Malley, orthopedic attending."

"Dr. Alex Karev, pediatric attending."

"It's very nice to meet you all. I'm Dr. Meredith Grey, new Head of General." She smiled as she noticed Izzie's falter.

"Grey? As in Ellis Grey's daughter? Who resides in New York and successfully completed a resection of leiomyosarcoma with celiac, splenic, and left gastric arterial involvement by removing all her abdominal organs, removing the tumour, and then transporting her organs back." Meredith nodded.

"I didn't do it all but myself. Christina Yang was there as the Cardio surgeon." Izzie's eyes widened once more. "Well, I should go find Dr. Torres, let her know I'm here." Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey said goodbye and walked off talking quietly to each other as they did.

* * *

"Lucas, go surprise Auntie Callie," Meredith and Miranda watched the four year old boy run up to Dr. Torres. He tapped her on her leg and Callie turned around, surprised at who she saw. She bent down to his level for a hug. When she looked up, she locked eyes with Meredith and ran over to her, hugging her tightly. When they pulled back, she looked between the Chief and Mer, before asking why she was here.

"I decided change was good. So I emailed Bailey, inquiring about a job among some of the best surgeons and here I am." Meredith could see the hesitation in Callie's eyes but just smiled, assuring her silently she was okay.

"Well, call me later and we can meet up." Meredith nodded and said goodbye, telling Lucas to do the same thing before following Miranda Bailey to finish the tour. It was going good until they came to the OR board. Dr. Bailey got pages, leaving Meredith to wander around with Lucas who was fascinated by everything. Meredith was explaining equipment as they passed them. Currently explaining how and why scrub rooms were used. Lucas was slightly ahead of her as they walked, therefore turning the corner and running into someone before Meredith could stop him.

"I'm sorry, Mister." Lucas' soft voice carried out.

"It's okay little man." A new voice spoke, making Meredith move faster to make sure her son hadn't injured anyone. She apologized to the man, moving to continue their wander. "Meredith Grey?"

"Um. Yes?" Meredith stayed where she was. Lucas continuing to wander.

"Dr. Derek Shepherd." Derek held a hand out and Meredith politely shook it. "He looks exactly like Mark." Meredith frowned, not knowing what to do or say.

"Pardon?"

"Your son. I was Mark's roommate and best friend in New York. He was like a brother to me. You were the reason he stopped his man whore ways and finally settled down." Meredith nodded, recalling what Mark had said about his friend.

"Ah. Yes, I remember. I think I remember Mark saying you were like his brother. But also saying you were a 'brain surgeon who has a godly complex and needed to seriously eat himself laid.'" She quoted her son's father's words and smiled softly. "Have a good day, doctor." She turned and caught up with Lucas, picking up where she left off, telling him the use and names of everything they passed. Derek Shepherd stayed in his spot. Shocked still from what the woman had said.


	2. Chapter 2

**An: At the beginning of most chapters there will be the intro section which is taken directly from the show it self. I've also changed the age of some people, so they are all slightly younger then normal attending's. Also I've decided to have Callie and Arizona staying together no matter what because I needed a stable relationship between two people that knew what Meredith was somewhat going through.**

 **I do not own any of Grey's Anatomy.**

* * *

 _Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside._

* * *

Meredith awoke on time the next morning, having a quick shower and getting dressed before going to deal with Lucas. She got him dressed and fed and in no time, she was off to the hospital for her first day of work. She said goodbye to Lucas as she dropped him off at the hospital's daycare, watching him head inside and get greeted by the daycare's supervisor before heading to the attending lounge to change into a pair of dark navy scrubs. She walked out into the hall, grabbing a tablet and seeing if any general cases were new and needed reviewing. Throughout her shift, she roamed the hospital, meeting some of the other attendings and residents she hadn't met the day before, including Dr. Avery and Dr. Hunt. For the most part her day was going well. No big trauma or emergencies coming in, only minor issues that she had the residents and interns do most the work on as she observed their techniques and skills from afar.

Half way through her shift she was paged for a consult in the Intensive Care Unit. She had taken a deep breath and was halfway there before stopping, berating herself for being emotional and thinking about the last time she was on that floor. _I will have to be going up there all the time now that I work at the hospital,_ she reminded herself. Meredith toke another deep breath before continuing on her path, finding herself at the patient's room within a few minutes. Dr. Karev greeted her and explained how Amy, the patient, was found out side the hospital in a huge amount of pain. Meredith looked at the chart and her eyes widened a bit at the age of her patient. Alex noticed this and explained her was trying to keep it out of the spotlight and since she was a kid, he decided the adult ICU would be better..

Mer completed her check and found a tumor in the girl's stomach. She asked Alex to book the OR and let her know and they could go in together. She exited the room and was half way to the elevator when she turned around and headed to another patient room. She found the room empty and walked in, running a hand along the bed before sitting in the chair beside the empty bed. She smiled softly as she thought of the last time Mark had flown to New York to see them.

* * *

 _Mark wanted to surprise Meredith and Lucas and had booked a week off work and called Meredith's boss, asking him to let her off work for a week. He arrived at home and quietly unlocked the door before putting his suitcase in the door and closing the door behind him. He could hear Meredith talking to Lucas in the kitchen, no doubt telling him that Mark would be home later tonight like usual. Mark took quiet steps before yelling loudly._

" _Honey, I'm home!" He stepped into view, smiling widely and opening his arm as Lucas ran at him. He kissed his head before carrying him over to Meredith and kissing her softly on the lips._

" _You're home early." Meredith pointed out, as she grabbed Lucas' bowl and toke it to the sink. He smiled at her and she raised an eyebrow, wondering what he wanted. "Why are you smiling?"_

" _I'm not allowed to smile?" he joked before turning his attention to Lucas. "How would you like to go on a trip, Son?"_

" _A Trip?" he asked unsure, never being on one as he was born in New York._

" _Yea. I was thinking we could go to DisneyWorld."_

" _You're not serious? Mark I have to work."_

" _I am serious, and no you don't_ _._ _I called the chief and he gave you the week off to hang out with your son and fiancée." He smiled, putting down Luke before grabbing Meredith by her waist and kissing her._

* * *

Mer smiled at the memory, looking down to her left hand where the ring used to be before grabbing her necklace where the ring now hung. She checked her watch seeing her shift was over in a couple hours then her and Lucas could head home. She looked at the bed again, getting lost in memories once more.

* * *

 _Mark had left for Seattle, spending the last couple nights with Meredith. Mer told him to find her if he was still single if he ever came back. He promised and gave her a last kiss. Meredith smile calling after him to tell Callie hi.. A few hours after he left she started not feeling all to well and berated herself for staying in the cold for so long after he left. It wasn't till two weeks later, and lots of morning sickness, did Meredith decided this couldn't be just the flu. She got a pregnancy test and a hour later was laying in a private room at the hospital she work at with her best friend,_ _Cristina_ _Yang, pouring cold gel onto her stomach to confirm the test._

 _Their relationship wasn't meant to hold feelings. Sure they both felt something for one another, but it wasn't supposed to be anything more then a fling. Meredith knew he felt something more when he asked her if it was okay if he was the surrogate father for Callie a month after they started their fling. It took her a week to make up her mind and she hopped on a plane to Seattle to talk to him in person._

 _When she arrived in Seattle, she headed straight to Seattle Grace Hospital to see if he was there. When he saw her in the hall he was confused and went to see her. Mark had walked up to her and hugged her , asking how she was. Meredith relaxed in his arms before replying she could be better then asking the same question back. They talked for a few minutes before she asked when he got off. He said in a hour and she asked if they could talk after._

 _When she told him, he was shocked. Amazed that two doctors could forget that all forms of birth control weren't a hundred percent preventive. After the shock wore down, he was ecstatic. Happy to be a father again but mostly happy Meredith was the mother, he hugged her tightly before kissing her eagerly._

* * *

Mer had tears in her eyes as she heard footsteps nearing her. She quickly wiped the tears away before standing up and heading out of the room, unfortunately being seen by Dr. Shepherd.

"Dr. Grey?" She froze when he said her name. Derek had seen her come out of the room, and a moment of thinking he realized it was the exact room Mark was in when they took him off life support. He had watched her sit there with her son, holding Mark's hand, as if him dying was okay. Meredith had broken down once she got home, but had been strong for her son and Mark. "How is your first day going?" he asked as if nothing happened between them the day before.

"It's been good, not too busy so I'm expecting to wait for a busier day before deciding how it goes. Ask me in a week maybe." She smiled and waved goodbye turning to head to the elevator. She decided she would leave a few minutes early if no cases were priority. She stood at the nurses table looking at the tablet, reading over the general cases. She made a mental note to check one patient first thing in the morning and continued to the lounge to grab her clothes and head home.

Once changed and ready to go she headed to daycare, grabbing her tired child and heading to the parking lot, she finished buckling him and walked to her side of the car when she noticed Dr. Shepherd..

"Dr. Grey, I miss him too."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:**

 **I do not own Grey's Anatomy.**

* * *

 _A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You would think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off but if I had to guess I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, and fear of rejection…Sometimes the fear is just making a decision because what if you're wrong? What if you make a mistake you can't undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true. That by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing the thing; it can feel like we're carrying a tumor._

* * *

Meredith had just pulled off her dark purple scrub cap when her pager went off. She quickly read it and ran towards the pit. Shouting occasionally at people as they blocked her path and screaming once at Dr. Joe Wilson to follow her as she might need an extra set of hands that had already worked with her once. Meredith watched in amazement as she finished tying her trauma gown and raised a questioning eyebrow at the paramedic wheeling her patients into trauma room one.

"His BP is looking steady at 90 over pal. She's had 2 hypotensive episodes to the low seventies." Jill, the paramedic, told Meredith as interns and residents help move the two patients. She looked into the room at the two patients sitting there with a rod through them, before glancing around the ER and noticing other causalities and fatalities caused from the train accident that must have happened while she was in surgery.

"Wow." Maggie Pierce, head of Cardio, spoke up as she finished tying her trauma gown and taking a look at the case. "You couldn't get a saw in there?"

Jill shook her head. "Not without moving them."

"That would have been a very bad idea." Meredith bit her lip and sighed, thinking how of all the cases in her life, the ones at Grey Sloan Memorial were interesting. Meredith nodded her head before turning and smiling softly at Maggie. She turned to head into the room to assess the situation when she heard Bonnie, the female sitting on the gurney, asking Dr. Wilson questions that Wilson couldn't answer.

"Hello, Bonnie and Tom." She smiled at both younger patients as she acknowledge them. "I'm Dr. Grey, head of General, and this is Dr. Pierce, head of Cardio, and we are the two head surgeons on this case." She paused as they nodded their heads at the info they were getting.

"This is a very delicate situation and we must be extremely careful when removing the rod." Dr. Pierce spoke softly and continued explaining as Meredith stepped outside, stripping the gown off her and heading over to the nurses' station for her phone that she left there in her rush. She sent a quick text to Callie asking if she could bring Lucas with her to the hospital. Meredith turned around and smiled walking towards the trauma doors.

"Ignore the text I just sent. I didn't know if you had been paged or not but apparently you have." She crouched down as she spoke to Callie, picking up a tired looking Luke. He instantly laid his head on her shoulder. "Thanks for watching him. I can keep Sophia this weekend if you would like a get away with Arizona."

Callie smiled, looking at the women who was a stranger no less then a year ago. "And that's my friend, is why Meredith Grey is my best friend." She spoke loudly, drawing attention to them as Meredith just laughed. Mer glanced around quickly before calling Dr. O'Malley to them.

"Are you busy right now George?" Meredith asked him quickly. He froze when she spoke to him, a knowing smile gracing her lips when he did. He came to his senses and shook his head, before using his words to confirm he wasn't doing anything. Callie and Meredith held back their laughs before Meredith continued.

"Would you mind taking Lucas to my office? There is a pillow and blanket to the right of the big couch." Mer smiled, watch him nod before turning and setting Lucas down. She told him to go with Dr. O'malley and to stay in her office. She reminded him that if he needed her to just pressed the purple button that would page her to her office and not to leave until either her or another doctor went to get him.

"Ma," the small four year old, tilted his head and smiled tiredly the Sloan smirk.. "I know what I'm doing." He placed his hands out slightly bent and shrugged softly. "But can I get a bedtime story." Mer smiled at her son, shaking her head at his antics that his father had no doubt taught him. She pointed a finger at George telling him to be good for the Dr. and to stay in the office. She thanked George before saying bye and leaving with Callie.

* * *

Dr. George O'Malley walked the halls slowly, periodically looking down at the young boy who had been tired only minutes ago. He was now proceeding to talk his head off and asked to see more of the hospital. When George tried to decline the proposal, the four year old pull all the big guns from watery eyes and a pout, to beginning to sniffle and ask for mommy. George agreed quickly then, and the four year old went back to smiles. At the moment they had just passed the OR board and Lucas proceeded to tell George what the sinks outside in the hall was for. George was surprised he knew this an also noted how he spoke some medical Terms.

"Did your mom teach you all that?" Lucas half nodded and then shook his head.

"Momma and daddy. Did you know daddy worked here, momma said so." The bold four year old continued on as George froze, processing this info, not realizing that the kid had used a past tense.

"What type of Doctor is your daddy?" Lucas smiled as he turned around.

"Momma works on peoples inside. Right here," He rubbed his stomach. "Daddy was a face doctor. And skin." George nodded but was confused.

"Where is your dad now?" Lucas got a huge smile on his face.

"Daddy had to go visit God with Auntie Lexi. Momma said God needed Doctors and when he asked Daddy and Auntie, they just couldn't pass up the offer." Lucas ran ahead, as they completed the tour of the OR Floor and landed in the waiting room. Lucas never noticed George's face when it dawned on him that the kid was Sloan's son, and how he finally had a one up. George in fact was so out of it, he never realized the doctor moving up to him till a hand clasped his shoulder.

"Good evening, Dr. O'Malley. Are we babysitting this fine evening?" George nodded and went to speak but the four year old beat him, running to the Doctor beside him. Lucas had met Dr. Shepherd a couple weeks back, but finally had a chance to talk to him.

"Are you my Uncle Derek?" Lucas asked and Derek was confused why the kid thought he was an uncle. When no one talked and a few seconds of the two doctors looking at each other then Lucas, he spoke again. "Daddy told me you were his best friend, and how you two would always get into trouble. Momma hit him after that, play fighting of course. But he told me that you were the coolest person ever. Except me, of course." He rolled his eyes at the end. Derek couldn't help but smile at the kid. He nodded and told Lucas that he was Uncle Derek, and no one could be cooler then him, pleasing the kid with his praise. Derek turned to O'Malley, leaning in to whisper.

"You tell anyone the Dr. Grey's kid is Mark Sloan's, we are going to have problems. Got it?" George nodded and told Lucas that is was time to head to his mom's office. Lucas said goodbye to Derek before skipping beside George to his mom's Office.

* * *

 _The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, and heard the damn poets urging us to cease the day. Still. Sometimes, we have to see ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep todays possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understands for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intr5actable mistakes beats the hell out of never trying._

* * *

 **An: I know nothing big happened in this chapter, but I thought it would be good to get to know Lukas without Meredith around. He's obviously an outgoing kid, and I will definitely be using his as a buffer and/or a distraction to the two lovebirds. Please Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**An: Thank you all for reviewing and reading my story.**

* * *

 _Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries. Someone collapses in a restaurant, we splice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed out stick of carrot. But every now and then, some other kind of fantasy slips in._ _Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake, banished to the back of our mind, but sometimes, we're sure, if we try hard enough we can live the dream._

* * *

After the events of last week train wreck, Meredith's death rate since she changed hospitals was 1/5. The week had been quite slow, no major cases coming in. She was getting changed in the Attending's lounge into scrubs to start her shift. She had been given the weekend off so she took Lucas on the ferry and to see some of the tourist sights. Meredith walked out of the lounge and down to the nurse's station to see who was on her service today.

"Fourth visit in three months." The nurse handed her a file for a little girl.

"Page Dr. Karev, please." She walked away reading the case file and heads towards the section the girls in. Mer looked up at Dr. Karev as he asked her what she needed. Without a word, she handed the case file to him. He quickly read and nodded before Meredith pulled the curtain to make their presence known. "Good Morning, I'm Doctor Grey."

"And I'm Doctor Karev and you are..."

"Megan Clover, and it is not as bad as it looks." The two doctors shared a look before turning back to the patient and the parents who stood on either side of the bed.

"She fell in the playground, and there was a lot of blood and it looked deep." Mrs. Clover spoke up. "We know how this looks. Just so you know, we know how this looks, and it's not that. She just plays rough, you know. This is her file, and it goes back since way before we got her."

"Before you got her?" Alex questioned.

Mr. Clover nodded. "We're her foster parents. She's such a great kid, but she plays really rough.

"Right. Well why don't you guys go up to the nurses station and let them make a copy of her file for you, and we'll take a look at her leg." Meredith smiled at the parents who nodded and walked off after making sure their foster daughter was okay with it.

"You've got some mean looking bruises, you know that?" Alex looked over the bruises before making eye contact with Meredith. "What, you hurt your arm too?"

"Nothing big, I fell off my bike." Meredith gently removes the band aid off the arm. Beneath it is a large wound which has been stapled together. "Are those staples?"

"Did they do this to you?" Both doctors asked at the same time. Megan shook her head quickly.

"No, no. I did. I didn't want to go to the doctor again so I just stapled it. It's no biggie."

"You stapled your own arm?" Meredith questioned, conflicted at the feelings of impressed and concerned. Megan nodded her head so Mer prepared a numbing needle. "The staples are in there pretty deep. I'm going to have to give you a shot to numb the pain."

"NO. I don't need a shot."

"Trust me Megan, you want a shot. Its swollen, its going to hurt like a… " Alex never finished his sentence as the little girl used her other hand and pulled the staple out. She looks at the two doctors as if proving a point. "That didn't hurt?" The girl motioned them both to come close.

"I have superpowers, ok?" Mer and Alex looked between each other then to the girl.

* * *

On the opposite side of the hospital, Dr. Derek Shepherd stood looking through the window of the daycare center. He watched his best friends' son play with blocks and Callie's daughter. He couldn't believe that this was the secret Mark kept from basically everyone. He heard footsteps coming towards him but didn't turn towards them. "Did you know that she was the mother of Mark Sloan's son?"

"Yes, I did Derek. I met her when he was in the hospital after the crash."

"And you thought hiring her was a great idea?" He asked finally turning to face Dr. Bailey.

"I did. She's an excellent doctor and will improve this hospital." Derek just nodded at this before, turning and walking away, the chief of surgery watching him walk away with a frown on her face. Bailey was determined to get Grey on her surgical staff after seeing the work done on a few of her patients. Meredith had definitely inherited her mothers' skills and was using them for the greater good. Bailey sighed before moving from her spot and heading to the pit only to be stopped by Karev.

"I've got this kid in the pit. She's psycho and her foster parents are beating the crap out of her."

"She tell you that or you figured it out yourself?" Bailey questioned as she took the file from Karev's hands.

"She's covered in bruises; she's got a ten centimeter lac on her arm with three staples in it." Karev paused for a dramatic effect. "Like from a staple gun in your garage."

"The parents did that?"

"She says she did it herself. Got this bit about being a superhero and she can take the pain. Socials services are on their way."

"Have them speak to the parents while you run a cold pressure test on the girl." Karev gave her a look causing her to explain. "Ice water, test her response to pain. It'll keep her distracted while the parents are questioned." Karev nodded and moved away going to find a bowl and some ice water.

* * *

Meredith roamed the hospital until she made it to daycare. She decided to spend a few minutes with Lucas and Sophia before getting the results to her patient. They played with some blocks before Lucas spoke up.

"Mommy, Uncle Derek came and watched Sophia and I play today but the other doctor started talking to him and he went away." Meredith thought they were done talking about Dr. Shepherd. It's all she heard over the weekend, Luke talking non-stop about his uncle and how he wished dad, or Mark, had introduced them.

"He was watching you? That was, um, nice of him." Meredith played for a few more minutes before she kissed the two young ones on the foreheads and headed to the X-ray Viewing room. She paged Karev when she got the lab work.

"She came in for sutures, but she's a walking accident and has got an off-the-charts pain threshold." Karev mumbled, thinking out loud.

"I'm thinking - Chronic insensitivity to pain." Mer threw out there, thinking about other possibilities.

"I've seen it in babies, it's usually diagnosed young, but if she's been bounced around the foster care system"—

"No one would have diagnosed it." They examined the scans before going to find the parents. It didn't take long as they were waiting in the waiting room and they stood as soon as they saw them.

"Hello, so we have some news. Megan's bleeding internally. It appears there's some severe trauma to her abdomen." Meredith explained, talking in a patient and calm voice.

"You're trying to ask if we hit her?" The parents looked concern so Mer looked to Karev for some help.

"Social Services cleared you and I'm sorry we suggested you were mistreating her. But she's hurt pretty badly, so we're going to need to operate."

"Oh, my God." Megan's foster mom sat down, tears swelling in her eyes as the dad continued to listen.

"Megan may have a chromosomal condition that causes her to not feel any pain when she's injured. It would explain why she gets hurt so often." Meredith went to sit and tell the mother separately and to answer questions as the dad continued talking to Karev.

"We need to do some genetic testing before we can be sure, but let's assume she'll need to be monitored very closely from now on."

"So surgery's the only option?"

"I know you've been put through the wringer already today, but I need to ask you to trust me on this." The dad nodded before holding his hand out for his wife and following Dr. Karev to where Megan was located as Mer prepped for surgery in OR 3.

The surgery was a success and all Meredith wanted to do was to go home. She was taking off her gown and throwing it into the trash when Derek walked out of his OR. They stared at each other before Mer just smiled and turned to walk out of the room.

"Dr. Grey. I would like to apologize about my behavior towards you." Mer studied him but nodded.

"Apology accepted. But please call me Meredith; Dr. Grey makes me sound like my mother." She smiled at him before waving goodbye, heading to the attending's lounge then to go pick up Lucas. Derek stood staring after her, repeating her name. He then looked up at the sky before getting rid of his surgery gown himself.

* * *

 _The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good, and twice as much pleasure is better._ _That pain is bad, and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something._ _And there's only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomachache. And maybe that's OK. Maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thank you all so much for your reviews.**

 **Coming up, a phone call to one of our favourite characters. And maybe, just maybe some MerDer.**

 **I don't own any of GA.**

* * *

 _It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier, healthier life. As children we're told to smile and be cheerful and put on a happy face. As adults we're told to look on he bright side. To make lemonade and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part, though. Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat. Friends can disappoint. It's in the moments when you just to get real. To drop the act and be your true, scared, unhappy self._

* * *

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy."

"It's okay, Haley. The doctors are gonna help you." The parents words travelled as Alex walked to the the counter of the ER receptionist. Meredith smiled as he approached, finishing signing the last few release forms she had at the moment.

"Karev, Lucas missed your presence at game night this weekend. In the two months Meredith had lived in Seattle, Alex had made a spot in their lives. Well, mostly Lucas' but Meredith had warmed up with him as well.

"Tell him I'm sorry. And that he can come over this weekend for a superhero weekend." Alex smiled and shook his head, but glad that the kid missed him. Alex felt a tap on his should and turned to see a resident from psych. "You paged surgery, so?"

"Hayley May, sixteen, diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. Tried to claw her eyes out. I need you to clear her before I can take her up to Psych-."

"She tried to claw her eyes out?" Meredith blurted out, eyes wide as she turned to Alex. Alex gave her the same look back before mumbling a goodbye as he headed to the patient. Trauma room one was quite the scene when he arrived. Two parental figures were talking to the girl in a bed with bloody cuts vertically down her face. The parents turned to face him as they heard him, beginning to talk instantly.

"We try to keep her safe. She's on every med in the book. But she doesn't eat, doesn't sleep. The slightest thing sets her off. Talking even. So we're having her committed. We explained to her that they were coming to get her, to try and help. We turned our back for a minute, just for one minute-."

"Hayley - That's lorazepam." Alex spoke sternly, silencing the blubbering parents.

"I swear to God, I'll do it. You don't believe me. Nobody does. So no. I swear to God I'll stab myself."

"Hayley, I'm Dr. Karev. I need you to put that down." His hands were in front of him, showing he meant no harm.

"It will kill me, right? If I stuck this in my heart, it would kill me?There's drugs in here. I'd die, right?" The girl was looking between him and the needle in her hand.

"I can help you."

"I'm not crazy." Hayley muttered.

"I know. I believe you. Everyone outside thinks you're crazy, but something's going on inside and none of us understand, so we need to figure out what that is. The only way we can do that is if you put that down and let me run some tests." Alex was spitting words out, trying his best to just get her to listen to him.

"You promise?"

"Yes. Just put it down. It's gonna be OK." Hayley placed it on the tray. And Alex was quick to move it out of her reach. "Good. That's good."

"I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy."

"Page Shepherd."

* * *

Meredith had quickly finished her paperwork before heading to eat lunch in her office. Today was one of the rare times she left Lucas in daycare during lunch, wanting to take the hour for herself. She was about a quarter way through her salad when her phone rang. She picked it up quickly, not bothering to look at the caller ID. To

"Dr. Meredith Grey."

"That's quite the formal way to answer the phone for your best friend."

"Cristina!" Meredith jumped out of her desk, her excitement getting to her before she sat back down, taking a big bite of salad before smiling more. "If you're calling me, that means there is no good gossip back home. So, I'm just going to say it now. There isn't nothing new or exciting happening right now."

"Nothing!" The shock and surprise was evident in Cristina's outburst. "Nothing even with McDreamy?"

"What is with you and McNames?" The question Mer asked almost daily.

"They are McFun."

"And you are McAnnoying." The close friends laughed with each other as if they were standing in front of one another.

"How is my favourite godson?"

"He's your only godson and he's doing quite well. He enjoys being close to Sofia and Callie. Still not completely happy with the move and occasionally still asks heartbreaking questions about Mark, but being here is helping. Not being in the same house that Mark was in is helping. And he seems to like his uncle so, that's also cheering him up, much to my disappointment."

"Derek can't be that bad, Mer."

"Cristina, think Adam from med school."

"Oh, honey I feel bad for you." The line goes quiet for a few moments. "I miss our tequila nights. I miss them so much, that I might even buy a plane ticket to come visit for a tequila night."

"You're always welcomed to make a visit." The dynamic duo talked for the remainder of her lunch before Meredith got paged to the ER, making their goodbye quick.

* * *

"You think she's schizophrenic?" Alex asked, disbelief evident on his face.

"I think she threatened to stab a syringe into her own heart. - So I'm leaning toward crazy, yeah. The scans are up. Nothing in the frontal lobe. Or temporo-parietal region. - Occipital lobe's clean too. We tried, Karev. All the tests are negative. Let's go inform the parents and turf her up to Psych-."

" This isn't right. I know crazy. I grew up with crazy, I dated crazy, and I don't think this girl is crazy. Just give me some time-."

"Do you have a diagnosis in mind? She's suicidal, Alex. What you did in that ER, you saved her life. But those parents have been through hell." Alex knew Derek had a point but was too strong headed to just believe that was all that was wrong.

"You say it's our job to advocate for the patient."

"The patient, not the parents. So, whatever hell they've gone through, hers is worse. I do say that. Advocate for the patient. You've got until my board meeting's over. Four hours. Go dig." Derek watched Alex run off, shaking his head at the other attendings antics.

"Oh! Here! Uh, Page 162. The June 2004 issue of a journal with a mint green cover. It's Sound or pressure induced vertigo." Meredith spoke out into the dark room that was lit by two lamps as Alex and her poured through books. Alex was quick to move to her, reading over her shoulder before sharing a glance at her. Karev and her jumped up, running to the patients to room to confirm that they had found what was wrong.

"Hayley, we're gonna start now. When I say now, I want you to pinch your nose and blow. Make sure you keep your eyes open, OK? Now." Meredith went over the instructions as Alex sat in front of Hayley to catch what was about to happen. Suddenly, as the pressured passed through the head cavity, Hayley's eyes fluttered side to side.

"What's happening to her eyes? What's going on?" Her parents finally asked.

"No No! No No! No!" Hayley yelled out, before her mother ran over to her.

"Hayley, honey, it's Mommy. I'm right here. What the hell did you do to her?" The mother's accusing eyes turned to Meredith and Alex who both had a somewhat satisfied smirk on their faces.

"We just diagnosed her." Alex responded, paging Derek Shepard before the two doctors left to wait for the third doctors arrival.

"It's called superior canal dehiscence syndrome. It's a result of a small hole that developed in her inner ear. It's rare and it's hard to diagnose. The condition wasn't even written up until 1998. The noise sensitivity, the sandpaper, it's because Hayley can hear everything going on inside her body and every sound outside was magnified. It's why she couldn't sleep or eat. She's not schizophrenic." Derek explained to the parents before Meredith chose to leave the room. It wasn't her case, she had merely just helped diagnose the problem. She headed to get Lucas, her shift practically over before heading to the observation room of OR 3. The mother and son choosing to watch over the surgery as Meredith Grey told her son what was happening and answered all his questions.

* * *

Three hours later and a sleeping Lucas draped across Mer's body was how she ran into Derek, both about to leave the hospital into the cold, damp night.

"You cover a hole with a bone graft and this girl gets her whole life back. Wouldn't it be nice if everything in life were that simple?" She asked, stalling the darker hair man, who turned his curious eyes towards her.

"From what I gathered, life for you was simple." Derek responded casually.

"It was. But life can never go the way you want it to. So as soon as it seemed good and promising, the lemons I had been given turned mouldy." Meredith grimaced before walking to the exit, exiting into the cold leaving Derek looking at where the questionable woman was standing.

* * *

 _Ask most people what they want out of life, and the answer's simple: To be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get. To the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead, we just keep smiling. Trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were. Until eventually it hits us. It's been there all along. Not in our dreams or hopes, but in the known, the comfortable the familiar._


End file.
